Sylvester and Latkes and Stuff
Hmm. 2006, huh? You don't say. You know something else you don't say? Not in the States, anyway... "So, what are you doing for Sylvester?"
Who the hell is Sylvester? Well, I haven't a clue, but that's what they call New Year's around here cuz the New Year already passed...in September. It's called Rosh HaShana. We eat apples with honey and honeycake till we're sick of it and about a week later, starve ourselves for a day, repent, and think to ourselves, "Man, I can't wait to get into that dry, leftover honeycake." Ok, that's not entirely true. First of all, I never get sick of honeycake, nor do I fast or repent on Yom Kippur since I never do anything wrong. Hee. Secondly, some of us don't actually like honeycake (although how and why will forever be one of life's great mysteries for me--COME ON! It's honey! And it's cake!).
Potato latkes are another story. That's what we eat on Chanukah. See, those fried little bastards can go either way. If you get 'em real thin-fried brown and crunchy and eat 'em with applesauce or jelly or other such yummyness--Yes!--but the hell with those fat, under-fried mushy ones and EW...sour cream? What are we? Irish? (No offense, Mikey. Wait, you don't even read this. Nevermind.) What are we? Irish?
So, December 25th rolls around and I'm sick in bed with a cold but where am I supposed to be? That's right...Hebrew class. What's that, you say? Class? On Christmas? Haha! Yes, it's Israel, my friends, the one place in the Western World where December 25th is....just December 25th. AND it was Sunday, the first day of the work/school week, not the Sabbath...that would be Saturday for all you mislead goyim. HOWEVER, not only were we treated to suvganiot (jelly donuts, also a Chanukah food) in class this week, but we DID get a day off...for Chanukah (*insert taunting smirk for Alex Panio who always had such a ball singing South Park's "Lonely Jew on Christmas" song in my face every year).
All right. So maaaaaaaaaybe this day off was cleverly offered to us this Sunday for reasons other than Chanukah. And maaaaaaaaaaybe Hebrew U knew that if they held classes on January 1st, the only students who'd show would fall under the following categories:
1) Still too shitfaced from the night before to realize where they are.
2) Hungover, but better to throw up in a bathroom that someone else will have to clean.
3) No friends, no social life, no plans...so everyone studying dead languages. Oh shit.
4) Religious Muslims.
Well, speaking of Muslims, the morning Call to Prayer has just begun echoing through the hills outside my window, which means I stayed up way too long, yet again, trying to update you on the fascinating life I don't lead. Shoshana and Elisheva, congratulations on making Aliyah yesterday. I love you both, welcome home.
Ask not what Sylvester can do for you, but what you can do for Sylvester ;)
2006 HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006
*note: el? are you miss mojo? yes, ji hee...i got %100 on the f_russian's paper! i miss you! guy~did you get the pesek zman from my house? or did they eat it all? oh, and tamar~you'll be thrilled to hear that the unkosher burger joint is up and running again. i know how worried you were :P boaz. heh. hope your psycho german girlfriend doesn't tie you up in her basement and beat you with polish sausages. or maybe i do.......
Who the hell is Sylvester? Well, I haven't a clue, but that's what they call New Year's around here cuz the New Year already passed...in September. It's called Rosh HaShana. We eat apples with honey and honeycake till we're sick of it and about a week later, starve ourselves for a day, repent, and think to ourselves, "Man, I can't wait to get into that dry, leftover honeycake." Ok, that's not entirely true. First of all, I never get sick of honeycake, nor do I fast or repent on Yom Kippur since I never do anything wrong. Hee. Secondly, some of us don't actually like honeycake (although how and why will forever be one of life's great mysteries for me--COME ON! It's honey! And it's cake!).
Potato latkes are another story. That's what we eat on Chanukah. See, those fried little bastards can go either way. If you get 'em real thin-fried brown and crunchy and eat 'em with applesauce or jelly or other such yummyness--Yes!--but the hell with those fat, under-fried mushy ones and EW...sour cream? What are we? Irish? (No offense, Mikey. Wait, you don't even read this. Nevermind.) What are we? Irish?
So, December 25th rolls around and I'm sick in bed with a cold but where am I supposed to be? That's right...Hebrew class. What's that, you say? Class? On Christmas? Haha! Yes, it's Israel, my friends, the one place in the Western World where December 25th is....just December 25th. AND it was Sunday, the first day of the work/school week, not the Sabbath...that would be Saturday for all you mislead goyim. HOWEVER, not only were we treated to suvganiot (jelly donuts, also a Chanukah food) in class this week, but we DID get a day off...for Chanukah (*insert taunting smirk for Alex Panio who always had such a ball singing South Park's "Lonely Jew on Christmas" song in my face every year).
All right. So maaaaaaaaaybe this day off was cleverly offered to us this Sunday for reasons other than Chanukah. And maaaaaaaaaaybe Hebrew U knew that if they held classes on January 1st, the only students who'd show would fall under the following categories:
1) Still too shitfaced from the night before to realize where they are.
2) Hungover, but better to throw up in a bathroom that someone else will have to clean.
3) No friends, no social life, no plans...so everyone studying dead languages. Oh shit.
4) Religious Muslims.
Well, speaking of Muslims, the morning Call to Prayer has just begun echoing through the hills outside my window, which means I stayed up way too long, yet again, trying to update you on the fascinating life I don't lead. Shoshana and Elisheva, congratulations on making Aliyah yesterday. I love you both, welcome home.
Ask not what Sylvester can do for you, but what you can do for Sylvester ;)
2006 HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006
*note: el? are you miss mojo? yes, ji hee...i got %100 on the f_russian's paper! i miss you! guy~did you get the pesek zman from my house? or did they eat it all? oh, and tamar~you'll be thrilled to hear that the unkosher burger joint is up and running again. i know how worried you were :P boaz. heh. hope your psycho german girlfriend doesn't tie you up in her basement and beat you with polish sausages. or maybe i do.......
posted by talsabroad at 5:48 PM
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